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Day 14: Bad News Happens October 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — thekeenanator @ 11:49 pm
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Ok so I wouldn’t say that I got horrible news. But I mean it’s another kink in my plans.

So back two weeks ago I emailed the Broadcasting Production head and asked about how I could get involved with them. The guy seemed very excited that I had reached out to them asking about information. So I sent my resume to the guy who he directed me to.

Well that guy called me today. He basically said, we’ll try to help you but it doesn’t look too good. We’ll keep you in mind. He gave me some leads to other places that I could apply to. He was a super nice guy but the news was a little disheartening. I just want to hold a camera for crying out loud. There was something about a union, but it was never specified which one exactly.

The point is, you can try and try and try and you might get bad news every time. Don’t lose hope or give up because of bad news. Bad news happens. Bad news may direct you to good news. I now have a few more places to send my resume and a new contact to add to my book. I also gained experience in talking to professional people. You can learn something from everything, even bad news.

While I am sad that things have to be the way they are right now, it’s ok. I love my job and getting to talk to so many different people. I am content with life for now. That’s all that matters.

Onward to the Dream

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Lines, Vines, and Trying Times June 15, 2009

This is the title of the new Jonas Brothers Cd that comes out Tuesday, Tomorrow, June 16th. I will post a review when I get it, but hear me out.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately. The past week or two have been stressful and emotional. Though I have made a break through. 

For the title of their new album, the boys decided to go with a theme that has been occurring in their lives: Growing Up. It was explained in an interview with Kevin like this:

Lines: are lies that you tell or have been told

Vines: Strangle you or hold you back

Trying Times: no explanation needed

IN essence, growing up. We all experience lies, things that hold us back, and trying times. While the title may sound redundant it’s very reflective of life.

I’ve been experiencing these so called “growing pains” and I realized that I just need to make decisions and settle down. Yes, I’ll be doing it alone and we all know that I have a fear of being alone, however, this is no different than anything else I’ve done before in my life. I just need to go and do it. There  is a line in one of Kenny Chesney’s songs that goes like this: I knew I could never hold that girl, she was born to see the world. Well, as much as I want to stay at home and be with my family, I can’t. I know where I belong and what I need to do and it’s not going to happen in Philly, the subburbs, or in PA. I need to move. I’m just scared. Moving, alone, means starting over completely. In a new state, a new area, far from home…yes 15 hours by car, 2 by plane. Florida. Disney World. August is my deadline. I have until August to figure out if moving is the right thing for me. A mid-July trip to Orlando and the surrounding area is the perfect way to scope things out and make sure. If it doesn’t work out, well I can always come home and try again.

Another thing that’s been bugging me is that I really don’t see people. The one person I thought I would see a lot of, I’m not and it stinks. It turns out that this person is apparently, according to them, is not the person whom I thought they were. This person no longer calls or cares I guess. Which is fine since this person is moving far away at the end of the summer. To be honest, I saw this coming. I just was sort of hoping this person would prove me wrong or would be different than everyone else I know. But disappointment is never far away. I haven’t really been social because there is no one around here. But this does open up time to read, write, learn guitar, and so on. 

I’m not depressed or upset about what has been going on this summer. Yes, it gets stressful and frustrating with my parents and the job thing, but I’m content. I love being here and just relaxing. I need this, for my health and sanity. I like to ease into things and this is the perfect way to do that. I have the rest of my life to work. I’m still young and a knockout (personality wise). A lot of people understand me, no one will ever understand my obsession with the Jonas Brothers, but I could care less. I am who I am. And my obsession with the Jonas Brothers is because they are a group of great musicians with good heads on their shoulders. One day people will see that. Half the time, if people didn’t know the Jonas Brothers were singing a certain song, people would like their music. I’ll get on that soapbox another time. 

But life is life and I am excited to listen to Paranoid and Fly With Me all the time as well as the other music that will help me get through my own Lines, Vines, and Trying Times.

 

Dreams Come True Every Day. May 19, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — thekeenanator @ 4:06 am
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The Final Voiceover for One Tree Hill Season Six is as follows:

Mouth: Take a look at yourself in a mirror who do you see looking back?
Haley: Is it the person you want to be?
Dan: Or is there someone else you were meant to be the person you were meant to be but fell short of?
Mia: Is someone telling you you can’t or won’t? Because you can.
Chase: Believe that love is out there.
Nathan: Believe that dreams come true every day.  Because they do.
Peyton: Sometimes happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power.  Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
Julian: Believe that dreams come true every day.  Because they do.
Brooke: Believe that dreams come true every day.  Because they do.
Peyton: So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy because you deserve to be.  Believe that.
Lucas: And believe that dreams come true every day.  Because they do

This is a post about dreams. Not just my dreams, but your dreams too. 

Somewhere in the midst of getting an education and making the people around me happy and focusing on doing well in school that I could get a job…I lost sight of my dreams. Somewhere between childhood and turning 22 I forgot what I really wanted to become in life. Now, I believe that I have become a fairly decent person who loves to help people, especially children. Maybe I didn’t so much lose sight of my dream, so much as I lost hope in my dream. Because somewhere along the line, a lot of people told me that I couldn’t do that. I won’t make any money doing what I love to do. What I love to do is simply put a smile on people’s faces. I love entertaining.

I am crazy. I love to have fun and I love to laugh. I don’t think that I am well suited for an office job because I love to be up and moving all day. Sitting around is boring to me. I need human interaction. I need life. 

I have a lot of dreams. I want to sing on stage in front of people. I want to juggle for a crowd. I want to make a little girl feel like a princess and show little boys that they don’t have be cool to fit in. I want to show other’s that there is more to life than the workplace. There are family and friends, adventures and nature, life and music and love and laughter. I want to get married to the most amazing guy who I haven’t even met yet (so I think). I want to be in a relationship that is based off of my personality and not my sex appeal. I dream of savoring every moment of life. 

I recently graduated from college. A major life change. I have had many life changes: I stood for 46 hrs straight to help fight pediatric cancer and learned I could make a difference in the smallest way, I spent a summer in Vail, Colorado with Campus Crusade of Christ and learned how to trust men again as well as meeting our amazing Creator in a breathtaking place, I spent a semester in Disney make the dreams of other’s come true and realizing the dreams I have for myself as well. I am vowing t clear the path to make my dreams come true.

Now on to your dreams. What are they? Did you forget about them? Are they lost in the shuffle of life? Are you too busy to notice the smaller things that may hold the key to reaching those dreams? I challenge you to clear the path to make your dreams come true. Take small steps before you take big leaps…but dig deep. Find the dreams you’ve wanted to achieve your entire life and live them. 

Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.

Talk about a commencement speech.

 

I can do this…for life March 29, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — thekeenanator @ 10:55 pm
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Today was a great day! 

I was able to sleep in a bit and then grab a large cup of coffee and finish my paper. It was a very productive morning. It began to rain around lunch time, which put a bit of a damper on things. However, it was ok because I headed over to the high school with two of my good guy friends to see our friend Courtney as Belle in Beauty and The Beast!

Courtney was amazing! The show was great for a high school production. The set and costumes were unbelievable. I really enjoyed the show. The best part about the show was the kids. There were a ton of little princesses in the audience. They were dressed from head to toe or just wearing crowns. It was really sweet. They were cheering and clapping. Sure it was a little annoying but it was cute. Perhaps I was able to deal with it because of my time in Disney. Over all, it was a nice sunday afternoon.

I realized something as I was watching the show. Something that I think is really important. I love to perform. I love the idea of making an audience feel something when they watch actors on stage. I know that in someway, I need to work or be involved in theater after I leave school. I think it would be awesome to work as a drama teacher in a high school or work with community theater. However, I need to do it. It’s a huge part of my life! I don’t know who I would be or what I would be without theater.

So that’s how I know. I can do this. I can do theater….for life.

 

The hard part February 13, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — thekeenanator @ 2:05 am
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So in life we learn that things are not easy. There are a lot of things that will make us unhappy and even more that will bring great joy to our lives. The hardest thing to do is to be hurt by the things that bring great joy to your life. It’s hard. It hurts. We may think it’s not fair. But there are reasons for everything in life. 

I am changing, but there has been a constant in my life that I simply cannot ignore. That constant makes me extremely happy. It is encouraging and nice to fall back on. I let something happen to that constant and I. I let things take their course and well, it’s turning out to hurt. A lot. And now that things are out in the open it’s harder than it was before. It’s hard to be happy knowing that everything will be just out of reach for me. Knowing that I can never be good enough. Knowing that I do not bring the same great joy it brings me, to it. I have to let go.

I’m clutching. You need to understand I have never had anything like this and I don’t want to let it go. But it’s killing me. It’s going to hurt either way. That is something I’m used to. Tearing myself apart to make things ok. I tear myself apart because I know that that constant will be much happier without me. They don’t need me so much. It will make things better for them. All of this tearing and sewing…it gets old after a while but I suppose that’s how you grow.

In the end…everything works out. Like a story or something. A fairytale. Things just fall together. In the end life just makes sense.

I suppose.

I am low tonight. Life is bringing realizations upon me that I was not ready for. That I never thought I’d have to deal with. People are not as real as they come across. So tonight. I am low. I don’t like it. Being happy is much better than this. That is why I am going to see Twilight. I will be happy after I see something familiar.

 

“That girl has been nearly impossible to find…” February 11, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — thekeenanator @ 3:58 pm
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“But worth every second of the wait.” Julian ~One Tree Hill to Brooke

Today is my 22nd birthday. I have been a little down in the dumps about it because nothing special is here to look forward to. I spent my birthday weekend at home and everything was grand, but now it’s just back to the grind. School is so different this semester. People aren’t around, life is generally dull. I have to find ways to get out of my apartment but I can’t because I have so much work! 

I am going to dinner tonight that’s a plus. But I got to thinking today about who I am. I am single but I want to be loved. I have a need for strong arms to wrap around me and while they are not here, I cannot wait until they get here. My Mr. Right is no where around at the moment and yes I want him to hurry up, but I know that he will be worth the wait. THis is because I am still growing. I am strong and I know what I want from life. I am learning. I love learning. I want to start training for a marathon. I want to see the world. I am smart and funny and when I’m in a good mood, I can be amazing! I am different. I think Differently and I LOVE to smile. I smile at strangers and it makes them smile! I say good morning to strangers too. That’s fun!

But I’m still learning who I am and at 22….how much of yourself can you know? I love being me. I don’t think I could be anyone else. 

So as I sit here. A woman. A writer. An artist. An Actor. A Broadcast Production major. A stranger. A Friend. A sister. A cousin. A person. I am realizing that I have a lot more growing up to do and all my fears are just silly.

“You can’t catch me and make me a man.” Peter Pan

and you can’t. I’m catchable at this moment in life.

So here’s to being 22. A new year of beautiful life to enjoy! Thank you friends for celebrating today with me! Lets celebrate everyday!

 

Wowzers October 12, 2008

Filed under: Disney,Jonas — thekeenanator @ 3:19 pm
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Wow! Sorry I have neglected this blog. I have been super busy. I apologize. I haven’t even had time to keep up with my boys…who are so graciously taking a break from touring and keeping themselves out of the news! They are working on their new TV show and their 3D movie! They are also doing a bit of touring around Europe to promote the new CD. THey have announced a World Tour so they can reach their fans far and wide! They are some thoughtful kids!

The Jonas Car has gotten some new window paint. IT now says that I love the Jonas Brothers and to go buy their new cd A Little Bit Longer! Also, today it’s getting the addition of “Guy Buy GET BACK by Demi Lovato” for those of you who haven’t heard the cd, It’s AMAZING!!!

In my life, being a CP means a lot of work. I get 2 days off but still, during those days I have to go food shopping, do laundry, and other stuff, oh yeah, class. I do get to go out at night though sometimes and I even met a guy. It’s been pretty awesome. Also, going to the Parks whenever I want is an awesome perk. I love going to Hollywood Studios to draw at the Animation Academy. 

Well I gotta work on my scrapbook and mail some letters before I head off to work. I’ll write more soon! I promise!