Lauren’s Weblog

Just another weblog

Growing Up August 19, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — thekeenanator @ 4:47 am

Lately I have been having trouble sleeping. You could blame this on a lot of things but I think it’s mostly my fear of the future. Graduating from College and not having a job was really hard on me. I felt like I let a whole bunch of people down. I still don’t even know what I want to do with my life. I just need to figure it out. The worst part about this whole figuring it out thing is that I know I am not able to do it here at home. I am way to comfortable here and I am not interested in trying to make it on my own. So I have been having to make hard decisions that take me away from the one place in this world that I love the most: My home and my family.

I have decided to move to Orlando, Fl and work for Disney again. But as of right now I am only part time so I am without benefits. I will  have to find another job or two to make ends meet. I think it will be ok but I am scared.

I keep trying to put on this brave face because I really do want to work for Disney. But I’m really scared of the future. It might be easier if I was doing this with a friend, but I’m not. I’m going this road alone. I’ve done a lot of things on my own, but this I am not ready for. A lot of people have faith in me and I guess I just need a little faith in myself. I’m just scared. I don’t want to leave my amazing family, but I know that I have to. I need to push myself. I need to find what I really have a passion for in life. I need time to just be me, on my own, and to live. I hope to find a strong passion for something I can work at. I hope to find love and life long friends. For some reason, I never got that out of college.

I leave September 2nd. I’m nervous but I know this is the start of an amazing adventure. I just wish I knew for sure that this is the right thing to do.