Lauren’s Weblog

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If Only… July 30, 2008

Filed under: Disney — thekeenanator @ 3:26 pm
Tags: , , , ,

The title is a song from the Little Mermaid on Broadway.

Why I titled this with that, Im not too sure. Maybe I’m having second thoughts or maybe I’m just nervous and scared.

The countdown is on… 15 days until I leave for Disney. I’m nervous and sacred… there I said it. I don’t want to leave. I do but I don’t. This is a great opportunity and I know I’ll make great friends and love every second of making magic for people, but I don’t want to leave this all behind.

My family and I are very very close. We do a lot together, even if its just watching tv or hanging outside by the pool. I don’t want to not be with them for Thanksgiving and Christmas. That’s the hardest part of all this. It’s not like penn state where I can just drive 3hrs and be home. I can’t come home, unless something really bad happens. I’m in FL for four straight months. It’s scary and exciting and I don’t want to go.

You know how you don’t want to cry in front of people. I’ve been trying not to do that with my family these past few weeks and it’s just gonna keep happening. This pertains to my real family and my friends. I saw Kari in NYC and she’s graduating in December so I won’t see her. Kate’s graduating. I am missing my first Thespian show….I love those guys so much. I don’t think they realize how much they mean to me. Without them, I would be a college drop out. Seriously. All the Cru kids and the THON kids. I’m gonna miss them all these four months. It’s hard to just go somewhere you don’t know a single soul. It’s starting over again. Getting really homesick and all. It’s going to be hard.

So I’m packing and working on my vocals because that’s what I do. My juggling has been put aside and my voice has become priority. Mainly because of doctor reports, I hate doctors. If I could stop going to them, I would. 


So this is Ariel’s part from the IF ONLY Quartet that I’ve been working on. It really encompasses how I feel:

If only you could know 

the things I long to say

if only I could tell you 

what I wish I could convey

its in my every glance

my heart’s an open book

You’d see it all at once 

if only you would look


if only you could glimpse 

the feeling that I feel

if only you would notice

what I’m dying to reveal

The dreams I can’t declare

the needs I can’t deny

you’d understand them all 

if only you would try


all my secrets 

you would learn them

all my longings

you’d return them

then the silence

would be broken

not a word would need be spoken


If only it were true

if only for a while

if only you could notice

how I ache behind my smile


I guess you never will

I guess it doesn’t show

but if I never find a way to tell you so

Oh, what I would give

if only you could know


If only there were time

I know we’d kiss at last

But time keeps racing forward

and our moment’s almost past

it has to happen now

there’s only one more day until I have to go

oh what i would give

if only you could know


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